🌈 Are You Spiritually Evolving… or Just Spiritually Avoiding?

(A light-hearted invitation to trauma-aware growth)

If you’ve ever tried to “love and light” your way out of a panic attack, declared your childhood “a lesson from the universe,” or attempted to meditate your emotions into early retirement, congratulations: you may be dabbling in spiritual bypassing. It’s like trying to mop the floor while the tap is still running. Admirable effort… wrong tool.

Ken Wilber would say that true transformation has four lanes:
Growing Up, Waking Up, Cleaning Up, and Showing Up.
But spiritual bypassing usually skips straight to Waking Up—because who wouldn’t prefer cosmic bliss over dealing with your inner eight-year-old who still thinks everyone will abandon her?

Here’s the problem: when you skip Cleaning Up (trauma, old patterns, unresolved grief) and Growing Up (emotional maturity, boundaries, accountability), your spiritual insights sit on top of your nervous system like a vegan salad on top of a triple cheeseburger. Looks good on Instagram. Doesn’t digest well.

Maybe you’ve noticed the signs:

• You “release” emotions by pretending you don’t have any.

• You think feeling your feelings is optional… like extended warranties.

• You’ve used new age truisms as a way to avoid difficult conversations (“There is no you, there is no me, so technically this isn’t my fault” or “Everything happens for a reason”).

• You’re extremely enlightened—until someone cuts you off in traffic.

The truth? Waking Up (non-dual awareness) is beautiful, tender, insightful…
but without the Cleaning Up, your unprocessed stuff sneaks through the back door wearing spiritual robes and yoga pants.

Real healing happens when we expand consciousness AND integrate the wounded parts. When you can sit with your sensations, not float above them; meet your emotions, not spiritually outsource them; and actually show up in your life instead of silently levitating next to it.

If you’re reading this and thinking,
“Oh… this might be me,”
great. You’re already Growing Up.

And if you’re ready to stop bypassing and start integrating, I’ve got space for you. Bring your emotions, your ego, your spiritual insights—and even your inner eight-year-old. We’ll help them all get on the same page.

(With no chanting required. Unless you really want to.)

Carole Young offers Trauma and Chronic Pain Therapy on Mondays at Live Well.

Learn more about her work and book online