What to do when you worry

We each have an immense capacity to love. At the very heart of who we are, despite the feeling that the world sometimes loses its way, we deeply care. From this sense of great care, what sometimes follows is worry.

We care so much about family, we want them to be healthy. We care so much about friends, we wish them happiness. We pour our nurturing affection into our animals. All of this flows from the fact that we deeply care about those around us. It’s a crucial element of human nature. The very planet we reside on and the space we move through requires us to care in order to survive and not destroy. But what happens when our capacity to love turns into worry?

What does it feel like when a family member is sick? What happens when a friend shares with you that they’re depressed, stressed or anxious? Your mind starts to think “what can I do to help?” Before long and sometimes immediately, the mind begins to worry. Thoughts begin to race. Your heart feels for your loved one. Your thoughts and emotions can choose worry as a form of action. It’s as if by worrying, the mind feels like it’s doing something about the problem at hand. When really, we’re just stuck in the space of worry.

“My loved one is not OK, I need to do something about it. What’s going to happen?”

The far end of worry is the desire to fix it for them. Make the suffering go away.

Maybe no-one is sick or unhappy. Maybe your child is going to their first day of school for the term or your partner is going to a job they don’t want to be doing. The response can be the same; you worry. “Will they be OK?”

Worry and Your Digestive System

Worry is stressful. This stress can extend to your physical body— we often hold stress in our digestive system resulting in tummy upsets, reflux, bloating, constipation or diarrhoea. Look at it this way; it can be difficult to digest (Stomach energy) what’s happening in the world around us. Digestive words are very useful when trying to understand what your body is telling you (https://www.holisticbynature.com.au/2018/07/body-is-speaking-try/). There can be a lot to absorb when listening to a loved one (Small Intestine energy) and often we need to let go (Large Intestine energy) of our desire to fix it for them. Sometimes, fixing things is purely out of our control (Bladder energy!)

I’m sure you won’t be surprised to hear that your jaw can also hold a lot of stress, particularly worry as we try to chew over possible outcomes.

The Energy of Worry

Worry takes your focus away from what you’re doing and can act like an undercurrent to your day. It prevents you from being completely present as a chord of energy continues to flow into the heart of your worry. From there, the energy of your worry flows to the person you care about.

You send them your worry.

Yes, we do this from a place of good meaning. “I just want to help”.

However, you’re sending them the energy of worry! Does it fix them, solve the problem or even help?

Transforming Worry

Let’s start by returning to the issue at hand; the trigger to your worry— your loved one. Ask yourself: Is there something I can do to support this person whilst they work through their stress? This might look like: cooking them a meal, driving them somewhere or listening without judgement. Remember, they may or may not accept your support.

Rather than the misdirected energy of worry; turn it into action. However, often when it comes to those around us there is little we can do to actually fix the problem. Or, cooking them a meal doesn’t feel like you’re doing enough.

If we have the ability to send people our worry, then why not replace this with something profoundly helpful and healing such as LOVE? Why not send those we love and care about, our love?

One of my favourite phrases is:

‘Don’t Be a Worrier, Be a Warrior’.

(I’d love to know who first coined this phrase - if you know, please tell me so I can credit them here)

What Kind of Warrior?

Let’s extend the phrase even more:

Don’t Be a Worrier, Be a Love Warrior!

It’s not about being tough, not showing pain, or holding it together. It’s about channeling your love in a specific direction. Be brave enough to let go of your worry, and in turn create more love. Boom!

What does it feel like to be loved? It’s incredible, beautiful, warming, touching, encouraging, safe.

Open your heart and connect to unconditional love, tap into its endless energy for love and send it to who you’re worrying about. So simple yet so powerful! You’re also doing something about it so the mind emotions can be at ease.

And you know what? Even when there is no worry, choose love. Send love. This brings us back to where we started:

We each have an immense capacity to love.

Use it.

Kate Pamphilon